BSNYC Friday Flyer On Bulletin Board At Supermarket Advertising Used Treadmill For Sale!

They did it, they did it!  The brave people of Portland actually rode in the snow!

We're, like, sooo psyched for you gais!

According to comments on the above post, snowdrifts in the bike lanes during the evening rush reached heights (or depths, depending on how you look at it) of up to three inches, requiring riders to occasionally ride outside of the bike lane--or, in extreme circumstances, dismount the bicycle altogether.

For many Portlanders, this was the first time they'd ridden in challenging conditions involving forced dismounts without first donning a stupid costume.

Of course, it's easy (really, really easy) to tease the people of Portland, though a commenter on yesterday's post did point out the city doesn't have snowplows and stuff, and if that's true I bet they're really kicking themselves right now for spending all that money on bike lanes--and that's to say nothing of that goofy bike counter:

(Yeah, instead of congratulating yourselves you could have bought a plow.  Nicely done.)

Anyway, you can expect Portlanders to stop talking about this exactly when the next snowstorm arrives...in Hell.

Meanwhile, around these parts, the minivans are incapacitated:

The tertiary roads are still pretty messy, mostly due to people digging out their minivans and throwing the snow into the street:

And pedestrians are getting cold-cocked by giant waves of slush:

I love that the car dealer is using this as advertising.  See what happens when you walk?

Anyway, for those of you in Portland, here's a little winter cycling tip: nothing handles better in snow than a bike with a really long wheelbase.

Well, almost nothing:

(Via @YehudaMoon)

Seriously though, the Big Dummy is great in snow.  It's like a Jewish American Princess--it just doesn't wanna go down.  (Relax, I'm allowed to make that joke.  I went on a "teen tour" for fuck's sake!)  That's because there's absolutely no way that enormous rear end is slipping out from under you.

("There's absolutely no way that enormous rear end is slipping out from under me."--Mario Cipollini)

Also, it's always good to throw some weight over the rear wheel to aid in traction, and I like to use a human child for that.  Sure it's cold, but they can only complain until their mouths freeze, and at this time of year it doesn't take long, especially if you find a good long descent.  Anyway, with a setup like this you're good to go through hill and dale:

(What the fuck is a "dale?")

Though if it snows you can always take the bus, and my pants would be totally on fire if I said I haven't been hitting the mass transit pretty hard these days myself.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see French Canadians.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and keep that rear end planted.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) Portland's "Worst Day of the Year Ride" has been cancelled due to bad weather.

--True

--False

(Apparently, whoever took this cynical stock photograph only had access to four bucks.)

2) Which legal defense for running down a cyclist is back and, apparently, still working for wealthy people?

--The "I mistook the gas for the brake" defense

--The "He came out of nowhere" defense

--The "I was drunk" defense

--The "new car smell lulled me to sleep" defense

(via Stevil Kinevil)

3) Which legal defense for running down a pedestrian and leaving the scene is now being tested in Arizona?

--"I was late to a podiatrist appointment"

--"I was blinded by sun glare"

--"I was going to stop, but my navigation system told me to continue straight for 1,000 feet"

--"I had the diarrhea"

4) Faster cyclists are:

--More attractive

--Better paid

--On performance-enhancing drugs

--All of the above

(A typical New York City cyclist.)

5) According to a study, New York City cyclists are getting more:

--Fit

--Aggressive

--Polite

--Dead

6) According to Mike Burrows, do bicycle wheels affect ride comfort?

--Yes

--No

7) In the Kickstarter universe, the solution to homelessness is to house people in:

--Teepees 

--Off-season hotel rooms

--ATM vestibules

--Recumbents

***Special Crack-Is-Wack-Themed Bonus Video***

(Via a reader)