Kamis, 13 Juni 2013

NYC Cycling: The Future's So Dark I Gotta Wear A Headlamp

Further to yesterday's post, I'm still not feeling very hopeful regarding the future of cycling in New York City, though to be fair I do tend to be pretty cranky when I'm menstruating.  Also, there has been at least one positive development since then:

Used to be when you got hit by a car you worried about stuff like your own mortality, or maybe about trying to memorize the license plate so the police can pretend to write it down and then not do anything about it.  Now, thanks to bike share, you really only have one concern, which how much time you have left on your Citi Bike:

FDNY said the victim was transported to Beth Israel, but had little info about his injuries. Apparently whatever trauma he suffered was nothing compared to his mortal fear of late fees, as our tipster overheard the injured man say, as he was being loaded into the ambulance: "But I have to dock it in the next 10 minutes!" (Late fees are $2.50 per half hour for members and $4 per half hour for 24-hour and 7-day riders.)

As a Citi Bike founding member, now at least I know what my last words will be:


Fortunately for the victim though, Citi Bike was ON IT:

Maybe it's because I'm menstruating, but the thing about "closing out the rider's trip" seems awfully macabre:


Another glimmer of hope is that the Hasidim (or at least the ones who can figure out how to use Twitter) are now clamoring for bike share in their neighborhood:

I'd have retweeted it except I'm not #Hasidic, so technically I can't agree with the above statement.

But yeah, I hope they do get their bikes, and maybe the Omnipotent and All-Powerful Bike Lobby that Dorothy Rabinowitz is always talking about can establish a cycling eruv in which the Hasidim can ride bikes even on Saturday.  Either way, it's good to see a pro cycling voice (that's "pro" for "for," not "pro" for "professional," since as far as I know there are no Hasidic pro cyclists) emerge from the Hasidic community, even if it did take them awhile to get it together, and at this rate I expect them to start clamoring for a velodrome in their neighborhood sometime around 2060.

Actually, ironically, the Hasidim may be our only hope, since their trendy Brooklyn neighbors are already over bikes and are too busy camping on rooftops now:
Since 2011, Brooklyn-based artist Thomas Stevenson has organized urban camping excursions—where the destination is not state parks or wooded forests but rather industrial, unglamorous, utterly rustic-in-their-own-way New York City rooftops. During Stevenson's four-night adventure this Thursday through Sunday, 15 guests will fold themselves into seven bare-bones tents, all wood-framed and covered in yellow canvas.

Finally, an opportunity to put all that stupid overpriced shit you bought from Best Made to use:


And, more importantly, to boast to your friends about your obscure form of recreation:

As Stevenson describes to the Observer: "You'll wake up the next morning. Your friends have just finished their normal rounds at bars, a few reruns of late night TV. They'll ask, 'Hey, what did you do last night?'…

"I slept in a pigeon coop like a fucking idiot," you will reply.

So next time you're awakened by the sound of footsteps on your roof, you can sleep easy knowing it's not a burglar.  It's just a bunch of trendy douchebags playing summer camp.

I'm looking forward to next summer, when the trendy recreational outing will be sleeping in a refrigerator box underneath the BQE.

Speaking of cycling and Brooklyn, it sounds like the latest installment of the Red Hook Crit was a real shitshow.  Not only was there that crash everybody's seen a million times already:



But now a 15 year-old kid has basically had to launch a $200,000 Kickstarter for his face after crashing in the qualifier:


This website was set up by the Major Taylor Development Team in show of support for our talented teammate Joshua “Pro” Hartman and his family during this incredible crisis. As many of you know, Joshua participated in a bike race on Saturday, June 8 and experienced a devastating crash during the qualifying rounds. He sustained multiple injuries to his face - he fractured his cheekbones, nose, and jaw. Thankfully he had on a helmet which protected his head. However when his face hit the protective railing his mouth was split open. Joshua lost a tremendous amount of blood and now remains in the ICU at Kings County Hospital. 

This is disturbing, especially given his age, and especially in the context of this blog post I noticed on Twitter:


Where the hell was the medical team at this unsanctioned shit show? The staff comprised of two people, sitting on the ground, flashlights in their teeth, haphazardly applying band aids to downed riders, no visible indication that they were health professionals of any kind. Their shelter a pitiful pop up tent. More than disappointing, it was hazardous. And another injustice to the riders that paid for this race.

It's a complicated issue.  On one hand it's a bike race, and the riders bear a certain responsibility for not taking stupid risks or riding beyond their abilities.  On the other, it sounds like it was a real crash-fest, and while the promoters have certainly done a great job of packaging and marketing this thing and tying it into the "urban cycling zeitgeist" you also have to wonder if more could have been done to minimize the likelihood of 15 year-old kids smashing their faces open.

Then again, numbskulls sprinting for 30th place manage to mess themselves up pretty good in the local USA Cycling-sanctioned park races, so who's to say?

Mostly I just hope the poor kid's OK.

Lastly, apparently it's Bike Month in Robs Fords' Toronto, and a Twittererer has shared with me this inspiring video:


Needs more Robs Fords smoking crack.