I'm going to Australia next month:
I don't know if you knew this, but Australia's pretty far from the United States, so I'm a little daunted by the trip--especially considering I'll be flying there by generic zeppelin:
("Oh, the humanity--but oh, the legroom!")
This is the sort of thing I wish they'd taught us in school, but sadly I went to school in America, and in social studies we covered Australia entirely by watching the movie "Young Einstein" starring Yahoo Serious:
On the plus side, I totally "aced" physics class, which we also covered entirely by watching "Young Einstein" starring Yahoo Serious, a movie I knew quite well by that point because I'd seen it already in social studies.
That's what we call a "holistic education" in this country.
And now, because I have a flight to catch*, let's get right to the quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll be happy, and if you're wrong you'll see your tax dollars at work.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and always wear your helment while zeppelining.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
*In about 30 days.
(Frozen urine holds pro cycling's most tantalizing secrets.)
1) Which of these riders is not on the list of 1998 EPO positives recently released by the French Senate?
--Bo Hamburger
--Eddy Mazzoleni
--Kevin Livingston
--Vas Deferens
("Rock-a-bye scranus, on the seatpost...")
2) This is called:
--The "Swinger"
--The "Namo"
--The "Swango"
--The "Perineum Pendulum"
3) Black lights are the new EPO:
--True
--False
4) Anthony Weiner's "sexting" alias was:
--"Carlos Danger"
--"Wankenstein's Monster"
--"Djamolidine Ab-do-jerk-me-off"
--"Eliot Spitzer"
("All You Haters Finger My Octalink")
5) What's a "POC Octal?"
--A new helment
--A new saddle
--A new bottom bracket interface
--A new Anthony Weiner "sexting" alias
("What the hell is this stuff?!? I better buy a new bike!")
6) Time to sell that "monstercross" bike! The bicycle industry now wants you to have a special bike just for riding on gravel.
--True
--False
7) Fill in the blank:
Older Sexy Guy on Orange Bike - w4m - 33 (Lefferts Garden)
Hey! I see you all the time. You are a super sexy man, I keep wanting to talk to you. You seem to be into BBW's. Tell me the names of the the dogs you walk and ___________________________________ so I know it's you. Here's Hoping.
--"what breeds they are"
--"which one can ride a bicycle
--"where one of them goes pee everytime"
--"which one has the biggest schvontz"
***Special "No, British Engineering Is Not An Oxymoron"-Themed Bonus Video***
Experiments in Speed from SpindleProductions on Vimeo.
