Motherhood Mondays: Kids Need to Taste Danger

Have you read Hanna Rosin's Atlantic Magazine article The Overprotected Kid? Her story about growing up really opened my eyes...
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Toby the gourmand

Three-year-old Toby loves food. Loves loves loves. I've never had to worry about a picky eater, thankfully—although I almost worry about him not being picky enough :)
When we put him to bed, he'll often roll over and ask, "What we havin' for dinner tomorrow night?" And yesterday morning, while eating breakfast, he asked, "So what we havin' for brunch?"
And this is a common sight in our house, the little scamp! I showed my friend this photo, and she sent me this clip...
That's Toby in 15 years.

P.S. French kids eat everything, a baby-food realization, and how to get your kids to talk at dinner.
P.P.S. "What about elevenses?!" Still laughing :)

How to cut a child's hair

For the past three years, I cut Toby's hair myself. But I had no clue what I was doing! He would end up with shaggy hair and Dumb-and-Dumber bangs. Thankfully, this weekend, my friend Reagan, a hair stylist, agreed to teach me...Read More >

The best part of summer.

We played with balloon rockets again this weekend and I forgot how much fun they were. They soar above trees and buildings! Alex and I loved them as much as the kiddos. We're stocking up for the summer. Highly recommended for picnics and family hangs.

Ban the word "bossy"

We're about to put the boys to bed, but I wanted to post quickly: Have you seen the Ban Bossy campaign? Lean In and Girl Scouts have teamed up to encourage people to stop calling girls "bossy":

"When a little boy asserts himself, he's called a 'leader.' Yet when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded 'bossy.' Words like bossy send a message: don't raise your hand or speak up. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood. Together we can encourage girls to lead."

It really struck a nerve with me. Growing up, I was always labeled "bossy," and, at 35 years old, I still feel that it's part of my identity. But it's good to be a leader, to be ambitious, to give direction, to have strong opinions and to speak up; and we should encourage girls to do so. As Beyoncé says, "I'm not bossy. I'm the boss."

Boss it up, ladies!

P.S. How to talk to little girls.

(Photo by Charles Gullung)

Amsterdam bikes

My friend Esther lives in Amsterdam, and she rides her kids around in a bakfiets, or cargo tricycle (what cute bare feet!)...
And when her daughter's class took a field trip to the park, the teachers rode the kids in giant bakfietsen. How cool is that? I'd love to try one with our boys this summer.

P.S. Bike rush hour, a subway slide and how Danish babies sleep outside.

American parents around the world?

Last summer, we featured a series about Motherhood Around the World...

We talked to mothers who were raising their children in Norway, Japan, Congo, Northern Ireland, Mexico, Abu Dhabi and India, and their observations were surprising and fascinating. It was a pleasure to learn about these cultures and get incredible tips and insights into parenting.

This spring, I would love to do another round of this series and feature more mothers around the world. We're looking for American or Canadian parents who are living abroad; and we're also looking for non-American parents who are living in the United States. Do you know anyone who fits either description? If so, we'd love to chat. Please email americanparentsabroad (at) gmail (dot) com. Thank you so much! xoxo

(Top photos of my parents with us in France)

Motherhood Mondays: Baby food...an epiphany!

When our first child, Toby, was little, we didn't know what to feed him. We didn't love baby-food jars, but we felt exhausted and overwhelmed by the idea of pureeing everything...so we basically just fed him 1,000 spoonfuls of store-bought hummus. Poor guy!

But with our second child, Anton, we're taking a different approach, and I feel so liberated! In her book Real Food for Mother and Baby, which I recently reread, Nina Planck talks about feeding her baby tons of foods—meat, poultry, fish, dairy, eggs, fruits and vegetables—right from the start. She gave him grated Parmesan mixed with olive oil. She stirred salsa into eggs. She added cinnamon to mashed banana. She gave him dark chocolate. She let him gnaw on lamb chops and chicken bones. She even gave him raw ground beef with olive oil and salt, and her favorite baby food was salmon roe! ("It's fun, like a bright orange pea," she wrote. "Your baby can pick it up, piece by sticky piece. When she bites down, it goes pop!")

We aren't nearly as ambitious—raw beef kind of freaks me out, and salmon roe is not cheap!—but I found her book very freeing. After seeing the laundry list of foods she was serving her son, I felt emboldened to give Anton at least some basic foods to try.

So, here's what eight-month-old Anton loves these days: dried mango slices (he ADORES these), apple slices, bananas, strawberries, pear, orange wedges, avocado, peas, green pepper slices, broccoli with garlic and lemon (he sucked on spears at a restaurant and was in heaven), soft chunks of cheddar cheese, yogurt, brown rice, hummus, pieces of grilled salmon, crusty bread to chew on, and long pieces of steak to suck on. He even liked sucking on half a lemon the other day! (Confession: I originally gave it to him just to see his pucker face:)

Also, when Toby was little, I really worried about choking. I remember hanging out at my friend Leigh's house, when she handed Toby a crust of bread. I watched him put one end into his mouth to chew on and almost had a heart attack. I tried to be cool—but lasted only two seconds before yanking it out of his mouth. "He might choke!" I told Leigh. But she reassured me by pointing out that babies have incredibly strong gag reflexes. And since then I've read more: "They may occasionally gag a bit or cough and splutter," the infant-feeding expert Gill Rapley, who co-authored The Baby-Led Weaning Cookbook, told the Guardian, "but that’s actually a baby’s way of triggering the anti-choking reflex, and it happens with purées too. The real risk comes if parents try to hurry...and put chunks of food in a baby’s mouth for him." Does this ring true to you guys? Sometimes I still get a little nervous, but I've been trying to trust in Anton's little system!
I'd love to hear: Which foods do or did you serve your baby? Anything they especially loved? I'd love to learn a few more delicious combinations—like adding butter, cheese or spices. What was your overall approach to starting solids? Did you ever try a baby-food maker? Thank you so much!! xoxo

P.S. French kids eat everything, and toddlers in the kitchen.

(Photo of Anton in his highchair, and illustration by Julia Rothman for Cup of Jo. Thanks, Julia!)

Motherhood Mondays: How to get your kids to talk at dinner

Our friends Jenny and Andy have figured out ways to get their two daughters talking (a lot!) during dinner. Here, Andy shares their five brilliant conversation starters...
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Anton crawls!!!

This morning was very exciting in the Goddard-Williams household. Seven-and-a-half-month-old Anton figured out how to CRAWL! We kept putting his toys farther and farther from him, and he rallied and worked his way over to them. He is still perfecting his technique, but I secretly love his haphazard arms and overzealous feet. Go, Antoni!

P.S. Flashback: Toby's first time giggling, standing and walking.

How often do you say "I love you" to your loved ones?

I read something fascinating the other day...
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Family snacks

Years ago, a friend gave me a parenting tip: If you fill a room with a bunch of balloons, kids of all ages will be entertained for hours. A couple weekends ago, we tried it, and it totally worked! My friend Karen and her daughter Sophia came over for a playdate, and the little guys got so giddy tossing the balloons around, sitting on them and trying to pop them! It was such a fun way to spend a snowy afternoon.
Afterward we served the kiddos snacks by my sponsor NatureBox, a snack subscription service that sends you five bags of natural snacks every month. We love their whole wheat figgy bars, lemon pucker pistachios, sunshine chips, banana bread granola, cherry berry bonanza, yogurt pretzels, dried California peaches...and their blueberry almonds taste like blueberry muffins:)

You can sign up for the Deluxe Snacker (5 bags for $19.95), the Happy Snacker (10 bags for $29.95) or the Smart Snacker (20 bags for $49.95). The prices are actually comparable to buying from Whole Foods or gourmet groceries; it works out to about $3 or $4 per bag. The snacks are so much yummier and healthier than the other processed snacks we’ve eaten in the past, and it's fun to get a different assortment to try every month.

Their new Snack Catalog shows all the choices. You can choose the exact snacks you want immediately after purchase, or you can let NatureBox surprise you.

We love NatureBox, and I'd highly recommend them...

Bonus for all readers: Get 50% off the first month of any month-to-month subscription (5 bags, 10 bags or 20 bags) with the code CUPOFJO. Thanks, Naturebox!

(This post is sponsored by NatureBox, whose snacks and mission I adore. Photos by Julia Robbs for Cup of Jo)

Conversations with a three-year-old

Have your little ones said anything funny recently? Three and a half is such a sweet age! Toby's imagination has ramped up so much, and half the time I swear he must see our living room filled with monsters, bears and bearded bus drivers. He cracks us up constantly with the nutty things that come out of his mouth. For example...

“Mama, who is in the living room?”
“Daddy and Anton.”
(Peeking out cautiously.) “Any bears?”

"What you reading, Mama?"
"The Goldfinch. Want to see a photo of the author?"
"Is it a bear?"

“O-tay."

"Chitten."

"Be fwy-ette."

We’ll play I Spy in taxis, but he doesn’t quite get how to give clues. He'll say: "I spy with my little eye...the door handle!" "Is it the door handle?" "Yes!" "I spy with my little eye...the driver!" "Is it the driver?" "Yes!” The game goes quickly:)

Toby has a bunch of alter egos. Whenever he pretends certain things, you have to call him by the corresponding name. Tom is a bus driver. John is a musician. Kevin is a boy with a babysitter. Sam is a chef. Dennis is a dancer. Booliballa is a librarian.

"Where are you going, Mama?"
"I'm meeting my friend to get my toes painted. What color should I get?"
"Blue."
"Light or dark blue?"
"Minivan blue." (No further explanation was provided.)

One morning, out of the blue: “Are you just a lady with lips?” “Yes.”

He asked our babysitter, "Are you married?"
"No."
"So you just like adventures?"

And he's starting to have crushes!
"Toby, did you nap at school today?"
"No, Mama."
"What did you do?"
"I just lie there and look at Gabby."
"Dennis" the dancer! :)

P.S. Toby in conversation as a two-year-old and a (younger) three-year-old. And I can't believe he was ever this little :)

(Top photos by Julia Robbs for Cup of Jo)

Two birthday revelations

This past Friday, Alex threw me a 35th birthday party. He invited friends over for wine and Prosecco, and we ate our weight in Trader Joe's appetizers. It was so much fun! And I also had two big revelations...
1. Do you have a scary age? I don't usually get nervous about birthdays, but turning 35 was throwing me for a loop. It just felt so adult, so official. Although I'm still figuring things out—work/life balance, how to stop worrying so much, how to layer eyeshadow—35 felt like an age where I should have it firmly together.

But then I got a birthday card in the mail from my mother-in-law, Joyce, who is turning 80 this summer. It was one of those lovely Hallmark cards with flowers on the front and a scripted poem inside. And on the bottom, she had written, "Happy Birthday, Joanna. 35. What a wonderful age."

And suddenly I felt really lucky and excited to be 35. Through Joyce's eyes, 35 seemed so young and full of adventure. It completely changed the way I had been thinking about the age—I realized that we're actually living "the good old days" and I should stop worrying and enjoy them. :)

What about you? How old are you? What's your scary age, if you have one?

2. Alex's other brilliant idea: The evening of the party, our kiddos spent the night with their beloved babysitter! We loaded them up with travel cribs and backpacks, and they were SO excited. The next morning, Anton got to chew on his very first bagel, while Toby and his sitter did yoga to soothing music...
Go, Tobes!

Meanwhile, Alex and I got to sleep WAY in and just hang out quietly that morning. It was surprisingly romantic and wonderful to have our apartment to ourselves—like it was before we had kids! It felt like a mini vacation for all of us. Thank you so much to Alex (and our sitter)!!!

Have you ever farmed your kids out to their babysitter's house for the night? :) Or a relative? Did they enjoy it? Thank you also for your sweet birthday notes!

P.S. Gold candles, and birthday cheese.

(Thanks to Jason for the photos)

Freezing toys for the bath

When your kiddos are going stir-crazy this winter, here's a tip for entertaining them: Freeze toys for the bath! It's ridiculously easy, and they LOVE it.

1. One evening, freeze an inch of water in a bowl/cup/take-out container in the freezer.
2. The next morning, add a few toys, plus another inch or two of water over them, and let that freeze.
3. That evening, just melt the edges a bit (run under warm water from the sink) and they will slide right out of the bowl. Give them to your child in the bath one at a time (draawwwiiiinnnnggg it out!).

What are your go-to indoor activities for kids? I'd love to hear!

P.S. Why Danish babies sleep outdoors.

(Photo by Alpha Smoot for Cup of Jo; styling by Kendra Smoot)

Nostalgia

How many children are you planning to have? We are probably going to stick with two, so little Anton is most likely our last baby. He's six months old, and watching him grow up is bittersweet. His milky smell, his round belly, his warm neck, his soft arms, his chunky thighs. I want to breathe him in, eat him up; motherhood is so tactile.
Sometimes I feel swept by a wave of nostalgic for these baby days, even as I'm experiencing them.
Anton, stay little, my little one!
Oh, my heart. So. In honor of all the soft and sweet children out there, we're giving away two $200 gift cards from The Honest Company, which makes safe, natural, non-toxic diapers, wipes, bath care and green cleaning products. Our family uses Honest for all our household cleaning, bath and baby needs, and I am so glad to have a brand we trust! (And how sweet are their winter patterned diapers with tiny axes?)
Plus, earlier this winter, Anton was fussy and Toby was cranky, and I finally realized it was simply because their skin was dry and itchy. (Forehead smack.) All that dry indoor heat was drying out their skin. So we now have a winter survival kit: lotion, body oil, healing balm; sensitive diapers and wipes, and an all-mighty humidifier. (Alex now has a Liz-Lemon-esque love of humidifiers and we have one in every room:)
For a chance to win, please visit The Honest Company and leave a comment below. Two winners will be chosen tomorrow at random. Thank you so much! Update: The two winners have been emailed. Thanks for playing.

Bonus for all readers: The Honest Company is offering free shipping with a minimum purchase of $25 with CUPOFJOFREESHIP for the next two weeks. For the first purchase only.

P.S. A winter challenge, and would you ever decide NOT to have kids?
P.P.S. Feeling nostalgic for Toby.

(Photos by our friend Julia Robbs for Cup of Jo. Thanks, Julia! This post is sponsored by The Honest Company, whose mission I adore. Thank you so much for supporting the sponsors that make Cup of Jo possible.)