Wednesday giveaway!

Today's giveaway is from ShoeMint, a free, members-only website with an amazing selection of shoes, each for just $79.98. It's a collaboration between Rachel Bilson and stylist Nicole Chavez, and they're manufactured by Steve Madden. New styles are added every month, and everything is made with real leather and suede. Bonus: You get free shipping and returns.

FIVE lucky winners will get to choose a pair of ShoeMint shoes. Which would you choose? (I'd go for the Kali loafers.) For a chance to win, please visit ShoeMint, sign up, and leave a comment below telling us your favorite pair of shoes. Five winners will be chosen at random on Monday (so you have the weekend to enter). Good luck! Update: The winners have been emailed. Thanks for playing.

For all readers: Click here to get 20% off your first pair.

(Giveaway is open to US and Canada only)

Hurry Up And Wednesday Already!

OK, so I have some important stuff to deal with today (waxing appointment) but I do want to take a few moments to share what I've learned from the New York Times's recent piece about "bicycle style" in Portland:



Firstly, I learned that Portland is all about the "hipster chic," and this woman in particular has a whole "flirtygirly" thing going on:

She also bought a bike specifically for this interview:

"The bike culture in Portland is impressive and admittedly I haven't been a part of it until approximately 30 minutes ago when I purchased this lovely bike."

I have no doubt the Portland bike culture will accept her with open arms, because they're very inclusive--just as long as you're not Asian.

Next, I learned that these people are idiots:

And that this guy got his bike stolen a bunch of times:

You have to be pretty hapless to get your bike stolen even once in Portland, let alone multiple times.  I know because I've been there.  The bike rack in front of the Whole Foods was filled with Rivendells secured by flimsy cable locks.  People "lock" their custom whatevers with their helment straps while they get coffee.  All of these people find their bikes still waiting for them when they return.  I brought my own lock from home, and when I'd use it passers-by would stare in amazement and ask questions about it.  An actual lock was clearly something exotic and mysterious to them--like an Asian person riding a bicycle.

So the best I can figure is that this guy is actually taping a "Take Me" sign to his bicycle.

Yet another thing I learned is that the dream of the '90s really is alive in Portland, just like they say in the "Portlandia" theme song:

Wasn't she in Babes In Toyland?

Oh, also, have you noticed that the dainty-handwritten-phrase-along-the-forearm tattoo is the new knuckle tattoo?

If you haven't, you're going to start noticing it now.

But most importantly, I learned that this guy likes to dress in "themes:"

"I like to dress in themes.  So right now this is my Portland-I'm-On-My-Bike-I've-Got-My-Bike-Bag-Going-To-Get-Coffee theme."

This is remarkable, because the Portland-I'm-On-My-Bike-I've-Got-My-Bike-Bag-Going-To-Get-Coffee Theme is identical to the I'm-A-Suburban-Mall-Rat-And-I'm-Waiting-For-My-Mom-To-Come-Pick-Me-Up-In-The-Food-Court Theme:

(I'll bet you $18 this guy doesn't own a bike.)

Oh, and colorful socks on men are apparently a "thing" now, at least according to people who have lived in multiple states:

"This is my fifth state that I've lived in?  So, I take a little bit from Virginia, I take a little bit from Florida, I take a little bit from South Carolina, a little bit from North Carolina, and some from Oregon as well."

That is a seriously uncool list of states.

But then again, as he says, "Bringing a lot of culture into Portland is what makes it so great:"

If this is indicative of the quality of Portland's cultural imports, that would certainly explain a lot. 

The Best Caesar Salad (with a new dressing)

Caesar salad is always delicious, but raw egg and anchovies can turn people off—and the dressing can feel too rich. Well, Megan of Passports & Pancakes was raving to us about her mom's light and tangy dressing that changes the whole dish. Here's her secret recipe...
Read More >

Famous cars

These etsy posters feature iconic cars from classic movies. Double thumbs up.

P.S. The Shining still gives me chills.

(Via Fast Company)

What's grey and crunchy and requires you to purchase a brand new bicycle?

You know, yesterday I was laughing at this whole "gravel bike" thing, but then this morning I was shopping for a second vacation home while on the toilet, and I finally decided I'd put in an offer on 2040 Meadow Lane in Southampton:

(They're asking $28,000,000 so I lowballed them by offering $27,999,999.99.)

However, just as I submitted the offer, I took a closer look at the picture, and that's when I noticed it:

"Fuck me!," I exclaimed.  "How am I going to get from my new home to the street?"

Road bike?  Nope.  I could die!

Cyclocross bike?  I don't think so.  I'd have to get the landscapers to put course tape along the driveway and set up a pit for my spare bike, which would totally fuck up my topiary.

Mountain bike?  In the Hamptons???  Are you crazy!?!  I'd be ostracized!  They'd banish me to Quogue.

And certainly walking is out of the question, since I'd scuff my $450 Rapha Grand Tour Shoes made from 100% yak scranus:

(Rapha's yak scranus shoes grow inexplicably larger when you ride by attractive female yaks.)

"Well, how do you like that?" I concluded.  "Looks like I do need a gravel bike."

So I set about shopping for a gravel bike to ride from my front door to the curb, at which point I'd switch to my titanium/crabon/953 Serotta, and in so doing I tried to figure out what the difference is between the current crop of "gravel bikes" and the cyclocross frame Nashbar's been selling for like ten years now:

As far as I can tell, the answer is "nothing."  If only there were some way to use "tools" to "attach" various hand-picked "parts" to a "frame" like this, it's almost as though you could "curate" some sort of "graveling bike" all by "yourself."

Of course, even if you were to do the unthinkable and customize a bike for the type of riding you do by using widely available frames and components, you'd still need some guidance.  Here's an article that endeavors to define the "gravel race bike:"

Basically, it's a bike with a longer wheelbase and slack geometry:

“The Warbird, compared to a typical cross bike, is designed to be ridden for hours, or even days if you consider the Trans-Iowa," Mallen said. "Because of this, we designed the bike around stability and endurance. Meaning it has a longer wheelbase and slightly slacker head tube angles to give you a stable, at home feel. Slightly taller head tubes also help you find the proper fit for riding 100 to 200 miles of gravel roads in a day."

Or it's a bike with a short wheelbase and quick handling:

When asked what his ideal gravel race bike would look like, Hughes had the following list of requirements: “I would want the bike to be light and stiff, have a  short wheelbase for fast handling, and the ability to run a fat-ish tire, with clearance for mud on top of that. I don't need rack or fender braze-ons. The bike I rode this year was pretty much the same bike I would've designed from the ground up if I had the chance.”

But most importantly, it's basically just a cyclocross bike:

Which is crazy talk, because everybody knows you're not allowed to use a bike for two things.

That's why I love magazines like "Outside," which dare to answer vital questions like, "How do I know whether or not I need the bike I didn't know existed until four minutes ago--and more importantly which one should I buy?!?"

By the way, the title of the article is rhetorical, and the answer is, "Yes, you need a gravel bike, because if you don't get one and you attempt to ride on gravel you are going to die."

Anyway, at this point I've decided that the primary difference between a gravel bike and a cyclocross bike is that you don't need to shoulder a gravel bike.  In fact, I'd recommend buying one of these gravel bikes as soon as possible, because it's only a matter of time before manufacturers start equipping them with razor-sharp top tubes just in case you get any bright ideas about using them for cyclocross.

Think of it as an anti-portaging "lawyer lip."

Oh, also, don't confuse your stable, relaxed, go-anywhere, all-day-comfort gravel bike that is inspired by gravel racing with your stable, relaxed, go-anywhere, all-day-comfort "endurance road bike" that is inspired by the Classics--you know, your Specialized Roubaixes or your Trek Domanes or the like:

See, one's designed for this:

And one's designed for this:

And if you attempt to use a bike designed for cobbles on gravel or vice versa then that will void your warranty and you will die!

And don't even think about using either of them in a cyclocross race, because the razor-sharp anti-portaging lawyer lip will slice your arm off on the first run-up:

(Naughty bicycle consumer attempts to shoulder his gravel bike.)

I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking, "Hey, what happened to 'monstercross?'  I thought that was the future of go-anywhere bikes:"

Oh, please.  What is this, 2007?  It's a well-known fact that 95% of the riders who ordered custom monstercross bikes turned them around immediately on eBay upon taking delivery and then used the proceeds to fund purchases of much more au courant bikes like "gravel bikes" and "fat bikes."

Do not attempt to ride your hideously outdated monstercross bike in the conditions shown above or you will die.

As for the more urbane among us, we'll stick to our timeless "aero folders:"

(Via Twitter)

Dual disc wheels can shave precious seconds off your fold, which is why he's totally beating the guy in the turban.

Wonder how it handles on gravel...

Beautiful bags

Have you seen Baggu's soft leather tote bags? They've been blowing up on the internet! It's surprisingly hard to find lovely simple bags, but these are the kind of bags you'd reach for every day and carry everywhere, from work to farmer's markets to picnics. (I love the gold color.)

P.S. These are also great.

Bikes: The Less Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

(Via a reader)

This past Friday I administered a quiz, and if you chose the wrong answer you saw this video, produced by the Department of Defense:



It's worth revisiting this video, if only because it really does distill the American attitude towards bicycles and cycling as neatly as anything I've ever seen.  Basically the idea is that riding a bike is tantamount to suicide, even if you have a helment and lights like this person does:

And that what you really need is a pair of Lycra half-shorts, a Dayglo safety vest, a helment, and a spelunker's helment light:

The Magna goes without saying.

This is just your country reminding you that if you're not driving a car then you're merely pending roadkill, and implicitly suggesting you shouldn't even bother in the first place.

USA, baby!

Also in Friday's post, I mentioned that the latest incredibly specific bicycle the bike industry wants to convince you that you need is the "gravel bike:"

So you've got a road bike, and you've got a cyclocross bike.  Why do you now need a gravel bike?  Well, nobody knows, including people who sell bikes for a living:

What Makes a Gravel Road Race Bike?

The question of what exactly defines a gravel road racer is a legitimate one. Even some dealers on hand at Bike DealerCamp in Utah, who were ogling over the two Tamland models, were asking the same question. Gravel road races have long been more about customizing an existing bike in one’s stable, such as a cyclocross bike that can clear extra-wide tires, but with the number of races rising and more riders seeking out dirt-road adventures, so too has the demand for dedicated gravel machines.

Compared with its traditional road brethren, the Tamland has a longer wheelbase thanks to longer chainstays and a slack head tube. The head tube of the Tamland, like you might guess, is also taller than other Raleigh models and the steel fork touts 50 millimeters of rake.

The bottom bracket is lower than a cyclocross frame, or even some road models, to keep the bike stable on bumpy, uneven road surfaces.

The Tamland has mounts for fenders or a rack, so while Raleigh’s newest model is intended for gravel racing, it would also make for a great touring frame, commuter bike, or would even be a good option for someone wanting to experiment in cyclocross racing.

It really must be hard to sit around a room figuring out how to tweak a certain type of bike just enough so that people think they need them, but not enough that the tweaks make any real difference.  It must be even harder to shop in a bike store these days:

Customer: "Ooh, that's nice.  Is it a cyclocross bike?"

Salesperson: "No, it's a gravel bike."

Customer: "What's a gravel bike?"

Salesperson: "Well, it's like a road bike, but it's got more tire clearance and a more stable geometry."

Customer: "Like a cyclocross bike."

Salesperson: "Well, kind of, but it's a gravel bike.  Remember Brick Tamland from 'Anchorman?'  'I love lamp.'  Hilarious!"

Customer: "Right.  So can you do a cyclocross race with it?"

Salesperson: "Well, it's a good option for someone wanting to experiment in cyclocross racing, but once you actually start cyclocross racing you're going to need an actual cyclocross bike.  For that you'll want the 'Fantana.'  Remember 'Sex Panther?'  Hilarious!"

Customer: "Right.  So what's the difference between experimenting in cyclocross racing and cyclocross racing?"

Salesperson: "A skinsuit and buying another bike you don't need."

Customer: "Fuck this, I'm leasing a Hyundai."

I blame disc brakes for all of this.  They're like sun-dried tomatoes were back in the '90s--just put them on the same old dish and all of a sudden it's supposed to be something new and exciting.

This is not to say the Tamland doesn't look like a fun bike--it certainly does.  It's just that the older I get the less able I am to keep up with the hair-splitting.  Similarly, I used to like hardcore music (remember, I'm old), as well as some of the other subsequent subdivisions of "core" music (metalcore, speedcore, grindcore, blahblahblah) but by the time they got to sun-dried tomato core I was like, "Fuck it, I'm listening to Teddy Pendergrass."

Still I'll take any of this disc-brakes-and-a-movie reference bike marketing over this Budnitz nonsense any day:

A reader forwarded me this, and I was horrified to learn that Old Man Budnitz "loves" me despite the fact that I've done my best to make it clear that I vociferously object to everything he represents:

Bikerumor:  What could you do without?

Paul Budnitz:  Bike snobs (not THE Bike Snob. We love him!).

Bicycle people tend to have strong opinions, which is a good thing — but there is sometimes a general intolerance for new or different ideas.

For example, some people gave us flack when we started out for making city bicycles that cost more than $300.  As far as I’m concerned, if we’re going to elevate bicycles to the level of high art and engineering, like a BMW car or Moto Guzzi motorcycle, we need to be willing to invest in that.  Also, there’s enough opposition to cyclists from the outside.  In any case, time and a myriad of good reviews seem to have solved that issue for us on its own.

As bicyclists ought to support one another, whether you’re riding a fixie you built yourself from a bike shop’s dumpster, a vintage Raleigh you bought at a flea market (beautiful!), or a high end boutique bicycle like a Rivendell, IF, Beloved, or one of our bikes.

People who don't like Budnitz bicycles are not intolerant of new and different ideas.  They're intolerant of self-fellating design douches who have no ideas and who think they invented the expensive city bike.  I mean, I suppose there aren't a lot of other companies taking the high-end custom 29er and stripping it of all offroading capability, but that's only because that idea is completely stupid.

Of course, it's possible he doesn't love me, and when he says "THE Bike Snob" he actually means this kid:

(Spotted by a reader at RAGBRAI.)

Though I bet if Old Man Budnitz tried to "high five" him he'd get a kick in the "pants yabbies."

Lastly, via yet another reader comes the best kind of bicycle marketing--the home-grown type you find on the eBay:

Can post it or you can pick up from either Middlesex, Slough, Bracknell or Reading ( depends where I hang out durring daytime).

No Pick ups at evenings nor night as i'm a bit busy polishing frame holder :).

I'm sure you are, eBay user "zdunor."  I'm sure you are.

13 Surprising Things About Parenting in Congo

For our Motherhood Around the World series, our third interview features Sarah (top) and Jill (bottom), two American friends who live in the Democratic Republic of Congo in central Africa with their husbands and kids. Here are 13 things that have surprised them about motherhood in Congo...
Read More >

Have a cool weekend.

What are you up to this weekend? We are hitting up some playgrounds like the parents we are:) Also! Alex and I just started watching the show Extras, and Ricky Gervais is hilarious. Have you seen it? We have even had to pause the show because we're laughing so hysterically. Anyway, have a wonderful weekend, and here are a few fun posts from around the web...

The official Royal baby cheese!

The downside to your sleeping style.

Why Steven King spends months, even years, writing opening sentences.

This perfume sounds fantastic.

How California looks like other places.

Paris insider tips.

Subway tattoos.

Tomato sandwiches are a great part of summer.

Summer beauty.

Lauren Hutton, style icon.

Norway gets some fake sun.

Salad musings.

A guide to interacting with introverts.

Thumbs up, Volvo!

An alternative to Alfredo sauce.

(Photo of Eleonora Carisi)

BSNYC Friday Pair Of Dirty Cycling Shorts You Put In A Plastic Bag And Then Forgot To Unpack For Two Weeks!

Well, it had to happen sooner or later.

I'm going to Australia next month:

I don't know if you knew this, but Australia's pretty far from the United States, so I'm a little daunted by the trip--especially considering I'll be flying there by generic zeppelin:

("Oh, the humanity--but oh, the legroom!")

This is the sort of thing I wish they'd taught us in school, but sadly I went to school in America, and in social studies we covered Australia entirely by watching the movie "Young Einstein" starring Yahoo Serious:

On the plus side, I totally "aced" physics class, which we also covered entirely by watching "Young Einstein" starring Yahoo Serious, a movie I knew quite well by that point because I'd seen it already in social studies.

That's what we call a "holistic education" in this country.

And now, because I have a flight to catch*, let's get right to the quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll be happy, and if you're wrong you'll see your tax dollars at work.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and always wear your helment while zeppelining.


--Wildcat Rock Machine

*In about 30 days.

(Frozen urine holds pro cycling's most tantalizing secrets.)

1) Which of these riders is not on the list of 1998 EPO positives recently released by the French Senate?

--Bo Hamburger
--Eddy Mazzoleni
--Kevin Livingston
--Vas Deferens

("Rock-a-bye scranus, on the seatpost...")

2) This is called:

--The "Swinger"
--The "Namo"
--The "Swango"
--The "Perineum Pendulum"

3) Black lights are the new EPO:

--True
--False

4) Anthony Weiner's "sexting" alias was:

--"Carlos Danger"
--"Wankenstein's Monster"
--"Djamolidine Ab-do-jerk-me-off"
--"Eliot Spitzer"

("All You Haters Finger My Octalink")

5) What's a "POC Octal?"

--A new helment
--A new saddle
--A new bottom bracket interface
--A new Anthony Weiner "sexting" alias

("What the hell is this stuff?!?  I better buy a new bike!")

6) Time to sell that "monstercross" bike!  The bicycle industry now wants you to have a special bike just for riding on gravel.

--True
--False

7) Fill in the blank:

Older Sexy Guy on Orange Bike - w4m - 33 (Lefferts Garden)

Hey! I see you all the time. You are a super sexy man, I keep wanting to talk to you. You seem to be into BBW's. Tell me the names of the the dogs you walk and ___________________________________ so I know it's you. Here's Hoping.

--"what breeds they are"
--"which one can ride a bicycle
--"where one of them goes pee everytime"
--"which one has the biggest schvontz"

***Special "No, British Engineering Is Not An Oxymoron"-Themed Bonus Video***

Experiments in Speed from SpindleProductions on Vimeo.